The Greatest Heist
by PaperDragonfly
Summary: The Konoha police force is continually chasing down a band of thieves led by the enigmatic Fox. But when corruption is discovered among their ranks, opposing sides will have to work together to protect themselves and their loved ones. :mild shojo,shonenai
1. Ours But to Do and Die

**The Greatest Heist**

**Disclaimer**: I own not Naruto.

WARNING: This story will contain mild shounen and shojo ai. In fact, there's a wee bit of shounen ai in this chapter. If that scares/disturbs you in any way, shape, or form, don't read it.

* * *

**Chapter One**:  
_Ours But to Do and Die_

"Hurry up, Dog!" called the black-clad blonde, already halfway out of the windowsill.

"Hang on, stupid." grumbled the other occupant of the grubby room, a messy haired brunette. He was still pulling on his long sleeved black turtleneck, one arm sticking out awkwardly and half of his chest exposed. "Do you have your mask on yet?"

The blonde pouted - an expression that was entirely lost on Dog, as he was currently pulling the turtleneck over his head. "I don't like the mask. It's itchy!" he complained.

"How old are you, Fox? Five?" asked Dog scathingly. "Act like the master thief you are and just put the damn thing on!" He had finally gotten his shirt on and was donning his mask - a black cloth that covered his entire face and head. The material was made so that Dog could see through it, but no one looking at him could see his face.

Fox sighed, swinging his other leg out of the window and dangling them over the twenty-nine storey drop. "Fine, boss." he replied sarcastically, pulling the cloth over his head. "Let's get going." He jumped out of the window, closely followed by Dog.

---

"We have a five-eighteen at the corner of Fifth and Main. I repeat, a five-eighteen at Fifth and Main. Send at least two officers with a backup EMT squad ASAP."

"Roger that. I'm sending the officers now and calling the EMT." replied the heavyset orange-haired man sitting at the dispatch desk. He punched in a code on the ham radio device. "Lieutenant Hatake and Officer Kimimaro, there's been a five-eighteen at the corner of Fifth and Main. I want you two to get there as fast as you possibly can. There's probably going to be an EMT squad there two - I gather it's bad."

"Roger." replied the serious Kimimaro.

"Whatever," sighed Hatake, sounding as bored as ever.

Jirobu gritted his teeth - the lieutenant's lazy attitude never failed to get on his nerves. He was already dialing the number for the emergency squad that was loosely affiliated with the police: EMT Team Seven. "This is Jirobu from the police dispatch office. There's been a five-eighteen at the corner of Fifth and Main, get there as fast as you possibly can."

"I'm on it." replied a deep, yet feminine voice. That was Tsunade, famous emergency room doctor. She was very responsible, and Jirobu knew she already understood what she needed to do. He put his radio-phone down, heart finally slowing down and his adrenaline dissipating.

"What was that, Jirobu?" asked his intern curiously. She was an red-haired girl with a ski cap flattening her bangs so that they hung down between her eyes.

"There's been a mugging at Fifth and Main Street, and the criminal is being held by civilians." replied Jirobu automatically as he punched in the numbers for the commander's phone. "Orochimaru, this is Jirobu. There's a mugging at Fifth and Main, so I'm sending Kimimaro and Hatake to the crime scene. They also requested an EMT squad, so I alerted Team Seven."

"Thank you, Jirobu." replied the hissing voice of his commander. "Who was the officer on patrol - I want to talk to them."

"Lieutenant Zabuza, sir."

"Thank you." A soft 'click' came through the phone line, letting Jirobu know his boss had hung up. He put down the phone gently, returning to his paperwork.

---

Fox clung to the wall with special pads attached to his fingers. They worked like a gecko's sticky toes, creating friction with smooth surface and allowing the boy to climb up walls and hang from ceilings. "Hey Dog Boy!" he called lightly to the panting brunette behind him, his breath whooshing out in white clouds with every word. "You okay?"

"Fine." Dog gritted his teeth and hauled himself up further. He had no idea why Fox liked the 'sticky-pads', as they called their gadgets, so much - he could barely get used to them. His hands were cramped and numb, although they would have been worse without the doubly insulated thermal gloves he was wearing.

The duo were climbing up a tall building, making for the thirty-second floor. They had started from a small room on the twenty-ninth floor - the highest civilians were allowed to enter without special permission, climbing out the window and making their way around the outside of the structure until they reached their goal. It was a freezing, blustery night, which made their job much more dangerous but kept away any curious passerby. As Rat, their genius hacker, had put it, they would just have to deal with the 'troublesome' weather.

---

In the parking lot, the aforementioned genius and his equally smart companion were sitting in a small, cramped car, eyes blurred and tired from reading endless amounts of vital stats - Dog and Fox's vitals, the camera readouts, motion sensors, the weather forecasts, et cetera.

"This is troublesome," muttered the pony tailed hacker as he loaded yet another false feed into a camera the climbers had just encountered.

His companion giggled. "I think it's kinda fun… we're fooling those stupid big-shot security guards." She thumbed over her shoulder at the two bored-looking police officers sitting in a patrol car. Ever so often, they would drive once or twice around the building in to check the boundaries.

"Cat… you're troublesome too." replied Rat, not looking up from his data.

---

"This…" stated a slim, black-haired officer, unknowingly echoing Rat's favorite statement, "is troublesome." He sighed, breath frosting out in an icy cloud.

His stoic partner, a pale-eyed boy with very long hair, said nothing, just glanced at him out of the corner of his eye.

"Why did we get stuck with this stupid job anyway?" The man continued his rant, running a hand through his carefully styled hair, spiked in the back. "It's ridiculous - we're 'guarding' an art party! Who the hell would crash an art party?"

His companion snorted. "It is our destiny, as always, to obey the commands of our higher-ups and not question their dubious levels of intelligence." he deadpanned.

The black-haired man had to smirk. "Neji, cut the destiny crap - it makes you sound like some kind of freak… But seriously, this," he waved a hand at their surroundings - a packed parking lot, a gray building, and a sidewalk empty of pedestrians - "is not why I became a cop."

Neji shrugged. "_Ours not to make reply, ours not to reason why, ours but to do and die_." he quoted. **(1)**

The officer sighed again, watching his breath gust out in a pale cloud. "Neji, enough with the philosophical shit. I got plenty of that from college."

His partner gave a half smile, the only indication that he had heard. His attention was suddenly elsewhere - on the thirty-second floor of the building, to be exact. "Sasuke, look!" He grabbed his companion's arm and pointed up to where he was watching two small, black-clad figures ascending the walls.

Sasuke narrowed his eyes, watching the duo struggle up the building. "Thieves." he spat. "This job is getting more interesting… finally."

"Alert! There's a four-twenty-five at the Gaskill Industries building; not accomplished yet but in progress! Send helicopters and a ground security force!" Neji spat into the radio.

---

"Shit." cursed Cat, turning around to look at the police officers once more. "Rat, they've spotted Dog and Fox."

The genius sighed. How troublesome. "Contact them on the radio and tell them to get away. We'll meet them at the spot."

Cat was already yelling into her headset. "Dog! Fox! You've been spotted. Get off that building NOW!"

Rat turned to look at the two cops. Sure enough, one was watching the two thieves and the other was yelling something into his dashboard radio. "Shit." He echoed Cat's statement, because, what else could be said?

---

"Dog! Fox! You've been spotted! Get off the building NOW!" screamed Cat's voice in Dog's earpiece. Her message caused the brunette to stop and shout to his companion. "Fox! Didja hear her? We need to get away now!"

Fox gave him a thumbs up to show that he had heard, and his voice came through Dog's earpiece, sounding clear and confident. "We'll need to use the rappels. Do you have yours attached?"

Dog nodded an affirmative.

"Release on my count." said Fox, beginning to sound excited. "One… Two… NOW!" The blonde let go of the walls and began to fall.

His companion gulped and let go slightly less confidently. He had to yell as they plummeted in free fall, the wind whipping their clothes and tearing at their exposed skin. "Slow down!" he yelled to Fox as they reached the sixth storey. Dog was already arresting his fall by tightening his grip on the almost invisible wire suspending him.

Fox's mutter couldn't be clearly heard through the radio, but Dog guessed it was one of disappointment - his partner had always liked daring stunts like this.

Both would-be thieves slowed their descents and began rappelling down the rest of the building as quickly as possible. Fox could already hear the buzz of the helicopters over the blustering wind. They're close… but they won't catch me, he thought confidently as he finally reached the ground.

---

"What the hell?" shouted Sasuke, grabbing Neji's arm.

His partner shook him off irritably. "What?"

Sasuke pointed to the side of the building, where the two thieves seemed to have jumped off. "What are they doing?" he asked, afraid that this would turn from an attempted thievery to a case of accidental death. The officer turned away in the last few moments, not wanting to see the duo splatter on the pavement.

"They're rappelling, dumbass." replied his partner.

"What?"

"Look! They must have had ropes attached to them or something."

Sasuke turned to see the two thieves safely swinging their way back down the building. He felt a twinge of relief that they were safe.

Neji started the car and sped to where the burglars would descend. "Sasuke! Alert the others."

Sasuke was already shouting in the radio. "Helicopter teams, the guys are down now! Ground forces, prepare to surround building, make for northeast corner! They can't get away!"

---

As he and Dog reached the third storey, Fox heard the wail of police sirens. "Not good." he muttered to himself. "Hey! Dog Boy! We gotta hurry or else the cops are gonna be waiting for us!"

They both increased their speed, and it was a matter of seconds before they reached the second story. Dog looked down and saw a police car waiting at their landing site. "Shit. Hey Fox! New plan: we're going in!"

Fox looked down quickly, then nodded an affirmative to him. The two kicked open a window and swung themselves in, simultaneously loosing their rappelling lines.

The two found themselves in a dimly lit room, furnished sparsely with a desk, a computer, and a large filing cabinet. Its owner was either at the party or home for the night.

"Quick! Dog, get changed. We need to get the cops off our tail!" Fox was already stripping, pulling off his mask and replacing his insulated, skintight turtleneck with a dress shirt and bowtie. He pulled on a pair of black tuxedo pants and buttoned them carefully. A tux jacket was hung casually over his arm, and he pulled a briefcase from his pack and stuffed everything in it.

Dog had rapidly undergone the same transformation. "What now?" he asked, hastily smoothing his rumpled brown hair.

"We go up!" replied Fox, already beginning to sprint out the door. Dog followed him hastily.

The pair found themselves in an elevator, headed for the twenty-ninth floor. "So, what are we doing?" asked Dog.

Fox glanced at him, then up at the ceiling, putting a finger up to his lips.

Dog nodded. He's right, there can be surveillance devices everywhere. I hope Cat and Rat managed to wipe our patterns from the camera in that room…

---

"Damn." cursed Cat. "The police are at their landing site."

"They'll make a plan." replied Rat, tapping various keys on his laptop. "I need to jam the police communications… it might take me a while. You need to erase their patterns from whatever camera they show up on."

Cat nodded, pulling up a window that allowed her to view live feed from all the security devices. She looked up in time to see Dog and Fox slip in through a second story window. The hacker quickly pulled up all the feeds from the cameras on the second floor, then proceeded to give them all a loop that showed empty rooms. What are they planning? She was tempted to call them through radio, but realized it would be too risky.

"Hey Panda!" she called up to the driver. "We need to leave before the cops block off all the exits."

Panda, a slim girl with buns on each side of her head, nodded, starting the car. The slim, black Toyota pulled out of its parking space and inconspicuously left the parking lot.

Five minutes later, Cat signaled for Panda to stop. The driver pulled into the lot of a busy diner, practically glowing all over with garish neon lights. "This is good - any further and I'll lose my connection with the building's grid."

---

The two police officers watched as their quarry slipped into a conveniently placed second-storey window. Neji began radioing their reinforcements to tell them about the thieves' change in position as Sasuke began to leave.

"Dammit!" cursed Sasuke, preparing to exit the police car. "Neji! We have to go catch them!"

His partner shook his head, grabbing Sasuke's arm to restrain him. "We wait here until reinforcements arrive. You know the rules."

Sasuke huffed and slumped back into his seat, glowering angrily. "Damn the orders." he grumbled.

"Ours not to reason why-" Neji began quoting before Sasuke silenced him with a painful grip on his arm.

"Shut up."

---

The elevator seemed to take forever to climb to the twenty-ninth floor. Fox spent the time jittering nervously and hoping his plan would work. The tuxes were a back-up disguise, for quick escape in case they were in danger. They weren't really meant to hold up to a close inspection. He began lacing and unlacing his fingers, praying fervently. I need this to work, I need this to work…

Finally there was a soft 'ding' from the elevator. The doors whooshed open, waiting for the duo to exit. "Just follow my lead." Fox whispered softly to Dog, nervously smoothing his hair one last time before stepping out into the corridor.

Dog walked out after him nervously. This plan of his had better work…

The two walked the corridors, ever so often looking back nervously. Fox still trusted that their accomplices would wipe them from the video, but it never hurt to make sure there wasn't a posse of security guards tracking their every move.

His companion was still oblivious as to what the thief was planning. He followed Fox's meandering path through the building, biting his tongue to prevent from asking any questions. Finally, once the blonde pulled him into an empty room and shut the door, Dog opened his mouth. "What the hell are you planning?" he hissed.

Fox grinned at him. "I'm going to set up a scenario that will make the police leave us alone. You need to cover up those marks, though." The thief pointed at the large, red, upside-down triangles on Dog's face.

"Righto." replied the brunette, digging in his pack for his supply of foundation. "But seriously… what are you planning?"

His partner just winked at him, carefully applying makeup to his own whisker-like face marks. "I could tell you," he said, picking up a mirror and examining his reflection critically. "But you wouldn't like it."

Dog shuddered inwardly. Last time Fox wouldn't tell him one of his plans, he had ended up being almost pushed off of Sarutobi Bridge in an 'attempted suicide.' "This doesn't involve me jumping out the window, right?" he asked nervously.

The blonde shook his head. "Hide your stuff and mess up your hair. Un-tuck part of your shirt too." he instructed, doing the same things. "I hear people down the hall."

---

"Finally." muttered Sasuke as what seemed like half of Konoha's police department arrived, led by Lieutenants Zabuza and Haku. He and Neji climbed out of their car to give the forces a briefing.

"We spotted two thieves climbing the building, and alerted you guys. Somehow they realized we saw them and rappelled down the building. We went to intercept them but the got into the building at the second storey. They are now somewhere between the first and twenty-ninth floor - no one has exited." said Neji quickly.

Zabuza nodded. "Haku, take your forces and search from the fifteenth floor up. We'll do the ground level. Men! Split up in groups of two. Neji, Sasuke, I want you to head back to headquarters and report to the Commander."

Sasuke grumbled darkly as the reinforcements flooded the building. Neji just caught the words "Damn them" and "I never get to do anything" as the two climbed back into the car.

---

Haku sprinted down the hall with his partner, Temari. His long brown hair bounced up and down in its ponytail as they jogged through the corridors of the twenty-ninth floor. The pair had checked every door they came to, with no results. The cop was beginning to get worried. I hope it's not who I think it is… he's an idiot to have thought he could get away with it. The thieves had better be up here…

He was jolted out of his reverie by Temari's call. "Oi, Haku! There's another door over here!"

The officer turned around to see his partner pointing down a dimly lit corridor. There was indeed a shadowed door down the hall. "Right behind you, Temari." he said, following her into the passageway.

The two officers stopped at the closed door. Haku nodded to Temari, who swung it open quickly, pulling out her gun. The cops froze, shocked at the tableau in front of them. Two men seemed to be holding a full-blown make out session in the empty room. The blonde guy was practically wrapped around the brunette - one hand tightly around his waist and the other buried in his hair.

Temari coughed. "Ahem."

The two men looked up, startled, and hastily jumped away from each other. The taller, brown haired one blushed awkwardly.

Haku took a good look at their faces. Yup, it's them. Good thing I'm here to totally save their asses… again. "Excuse me," he began. "There's been a security breach on the premises. We've been ordered to search the building. Have you seen anyone suspicious around?"

"I doubt they've seen anything…" muttered Temari before Haku elbowed her.

"Eh… no." replied the shorter blonde. He was busily trying to smooth down his hair. "What happened?"

"Attempted burglary." replied Temari shortly, scrutinizing the duo suspiciously. There were two thieves, weren't there? And these guys are certainly suspicious enough… "Tell me… Were you two attending the party?" She got out a notebook to record responses.

Both shook their heads. "We… ah… work here." said the blonde nervously. He was now attempting to smooth the creases in his suit.

"Can I get your names, then, and your positions? The police department may need them for future reference." the female officer demanded.

"You won't… ah… give them to the company, will you?" the golden-haired man asked, fidgeting nervously.

Haku decided to take over. "No, we won't." he replied soothingly. "The information remains confidential to the police department."

"Ah… all right then… I am Shoujei Takeshi, the vice-president of Internal Design and Development." **(2)**

Temari scribbled the information in her notebook. "And you?" she asked, glaring at the brunette who had, so far, refrained from speaking.

"Takahashi Minoru. Research and Development." He picked up his briefcase and suit jacket, which had been carelessly thrown onto the desk. "May we leave now?"

Haku nodded. "We will escort you to your car." he said politely. Inwardly, he was grinning at the deviousness of their plan. Lying bastards, he thought happily.

"Well, we both walk home." replied the blonde, also shouldering his briefcase and putting on his jacket.

"Then both of us will at least take you outside the building - you can't get through without a police escort." said Temari briskly, turning to leave. The two men followed behind her with Haku bringing up the rear.

---

"Shit…" sighed Dog in relief. "Finally got rid them."

Fox just laughed and put his earpiece back on. "Hey Cat! Where are you guys?"

"I am never going along with one of your plans again. That was disgusting." continued Dog in disgust.

His partner shrugged nonchalantly. "It saved our asses, Dog. You should be grateful."

The brunette snorted. "You're gay, so it was fine with you. I, on the other hand, am straight!"

"I'm not gay, I'm bisexual." replied Fox, offended.

"Whatever."

The blonde stuck his tongue out at the taller boy. "They're at Ruby's Roadside Diner, that really neon-y restaurant down the street." he said, referring to their accomplices' whereabouts.

"I hope they got some food." Dog grumbled. "I need something to get your taste out of my mouth." He spat on the sidewalk.

"Hey! Not cool!"

Dog just snickered as they arrived at the old style eatery. He looked around the crowded parking lot for a moment before he saw the familiar black Toyota. "There they are!" he called to Fox, pointing.

When they reached the car, Cat immediately burst out giggling. "I can't believe you guys did that! You're lucky I wiped you from the cameras!" Even Rat was chuckling slightly

"Shut up." muttered Dog, sliding into the front passenger seat. "Let's just go home."

Panda started the car. "Guys… we need an easier plan next time." she said.

Rat nodded. "I'm working on one. We should be able to do a break-in by Wednesday."

"Three days?" whined Fox. "Damn. I really wanted that painting too."

Cat shrugged. "Ya win some, ya lose some. It would've been cool though… could've brought us a lot of money…" She paused for a moment then changed the subject rapidly. "Hey! Wonder what Mom'll say if I told him what you two had to do?"

"God, no. Please don't." pleaded Dog.

Fox just laughed as they drove back home.

* * *

**Footnotes:**  
**(1)** This is a quote from Alfred Lord Tennyson's poem Charge of the Light Brigade. It's a very famous poem, and a very famous quote.  
**(2)** They say their last names first here.

* * *

A/N: Meh… this is the fifth time I edited and re-uploaded this fic… it's my first multi-chaptered story, and I think I'm finally satisfied with what I've written. Yeah, I know it's cliché, but it's cute too.

Read and Review, please!


	2. I Pity You

**The Greatest Heist**

**Disclaimer**: I own not Naruto.

WARNING: This story will contain both shounen ai and shojo ai (just a wee bit). If you can't handle that, fine. It's your poor virgin mind, not mine.

A/N: I want to thank all the lovely reviewers who took the time to comment on my story. Your reviews make my day... seriously. I took the liberty of changing the thieves' names (again), sorry about that. If you're starting reading from this chapter since you've already read the first one, I advise you to go back and check their names again. Sorry about that.

If you're wondering what the chapter title means, check the footnotes.

* * *

**Chapter Two:  
**_O-kinodoku Ni Omoimasu_

The warehouse district was dingy and unoccupied. Fox thought the tall storage buildings looked like menacing figures leering down at their black Toyota as it sped through the streets. "This place gives me the creeps." he muttered.

"Say something, Fox?" Cat had finally calmed down from her giggling fit, for which both Fox and Dog were eternally grateful.

"Scares me too," grumbled Dog, slouching lower in his seat and pulling his jacket tighter about him. "'Specially creepy tonight, with the wind and all."

"I like it!" chirped Cat, grinning mischievously. "It's nice and… Halloween-ish."

"You would." said Rat, not taking his eyes off the computer. Cat was well known for her morbidity and love of all things spooky. "I hacked into the police communications." he continued, hooking a slim headset into his ear. "Need to hear what they're talking about; if they've figured us out yet."

"Guys," piped up Panda from the driver's seat, not taking her eyes of the road. "The police have never gotten this close to us before. Next time, we do something easier."

Dog nodded solemnly. "That was an idiotic plan. We were in a hurry."

"Sorry, I just wanted to steal something." Fox apologized. "I was getting bored, ya know?"

"Think we all were." commented Cat. "Or else we would never have gone along with this half-assed excuse for a robbery." Her sarcasm was blatantly obvious through both her tone and her lopsided smirk.

"Hey! You're insulting my idea!"

"Oh, it was yours, Fox? That explains a whole lot."

"One of these days I'm gonna-"

Fox's rant was cut off by Rat raising a lazy hand. "The police have looked at the security videos and found out we erased your pictures. They're on to us, but since they only have eyewitness descriptions of you guys' looks, they don't know where to start searching."

"Let's make sure we keep it that way." replied Panda fervently. "No more little escapades for at least a week, okay guys?"

Fox humphed. "Fine." he muttered sulkily, pouting and looking out the window.

"Whatever." sighed Rat, still not looking up from his laptop.

"Sure." replied Cat. As much as she enjoyed mischief-making and annoying her companions, even she had common sense.

"Meh. I suppose your right." grumped Dog. He liked stealing almost as much as Fox did, and it was hard for him to go without a successful robbery for a while.

The car soon pulled up to their destination - one of the grimier warehouses that looked like it had been unoccupied for years. Panda stopped in front to let everyone out, then pulled around to park in the back.

The four unsuccessful thieves headed towards a small entrance off to the side. Rat punched in a code for the keypad at the entryway, and the heavy metal swung open silently. They entered the building cautiously, making sure no curious passerby (not that there would be any, in this weather) saw them go in.

The storage building was tall with a bare concrete floor and a high corrugated metal roof. Rows of industrial sized lamps would have illuminated the entire place with their garish glow, had they worked. Instead, the place was almost pitch black - a kind of eerie tomblike structure.

"Brr…" Fox shivered, wishing he had a warmer coat.

After a few minutes, Panda joined them, cheeks flushed and looking windblown. "The storm's getting worse." she announced. "Let's go downstairs. It's freezing up here."

Fox led the way across the dusty floor and behind a stack of crates to a well concealed door. After he entered a string of letters and numbers into the keypad, it swung open with a slight woosh. A warmly lighted hallway was revealed, at which the blonde gave a slight laugh of relief. "Good, Mom's here. I hate coming back when its dark."

The five stepped into the clean, illuminated hallway and the door slid shut behind them. "Phew. It's over." said Cat, seeming to sag with relief. "That was intense." She clomped down the hall, not caring about making noise. "Mom! We're home!"

A white blur zoomed down the hall towards them, jumping on top of the brown-haired boy and almost knocking him down. It turned out to be a smallish white dog, wagging its tail happily.

"Hey, Akamaru!" Dog greeted his companion happily, scooping him up as they walked towards the main room.

A pony tailed brunette hurried out of the room to greet them. He had a friendly face that was made unique by a horizontal scar across his nose. "Are you all okay?" he asked worriedly, placing a bookmark in his paperback novel.

"'Course we are, Mom." replied Fox, grinning happily.

"We're fine, Iruka-sensei." Panda, as the newest of the group, still did not feel comfortable with calling the man 'Mom' as the others did. As a nod to his Japanese heritage, she compensated by adding the suffix '-sensei' on to the end of his name to signify her respect.

Iruka smiled in relief. "Shikamaru, Kiba, Tenten, Anko, Naruto… good." He said their names as a kind of mantra to reassure himself they were all here. "You guys go ahead and wash up and change. I'll call the rest of the gang and we can have a meeting. Come into the headquarters when you're ready so you can tell me what happened."

As the others went their separate ways, the blonde thief paused. "Can you make ramen?" he asked hopefully, giving the man puppy-dog eyes.

Iruka shook his head, smiling. "Not today, Naruto."

"Pleeeeeeease?"

"Sorry, but no." said Iruka firmly. "Now go get changed so you can tell me about what happened."

Naruto perked up almost immediately. "Be right back!" he shouted, running to his room.

---

The ride back to the police station was completed in a frosty silence. Sasuke fumed at Zabuza's casual dismissal, and Neji let him sulk in silence. Finally, the pale, brown-haired boy pulled into a parking space and they exited the car.

"Think they caught them?" Sasuke asked suddenly.

Neji looked up, startled at his partner's sudden speech. "I… suppose they would have." He thought for a moment. "All exits were guarded, so I'm assuming they didn't get away…"

"Hn." Sasuke turned abruptly and strode across the parking lot to the glass double doors.

Neji watched him a moment, frowning. He sighed slightly and made to follow his partner. If Sasuke felt like it, he would tell Neji what he was angry about. Until then, the brunette boy knew not to press his friend.

"Sasuke-kun!" As soon as Sasuke walked through the door, he was ambushed by a pink haired woman in a slim medic's uniform.

"Get off me, Sakura." commanded the dark-haired man, looking more than slightly annoyed. "I have a meeting with the chief."

As soon as she let go, he hurried down the hall to the commander's office, leaving her looking slightly put out. Neji made sure to smile at the woman politely as he passed. She ignored him, still looking after Sasuke. He sighed to himself and continued to walk. One day she would notice him…

The chief's door was already open when they arrived. Sasuke peered in, knocking on the doorframe.

"Come in." called a hissing voice. They entered and saw Konoha's police chief sitting at his desk, obviously waiting for them. The commander was a frightfully pale man with long black hair and slitted yellow eyes. "I've been waiting." he continued, looking up at them with a hint of disapproval in his stoic features.

"Our apologies, Commander Orochimaru." replied Neji repentantly as he sat in one of the chairs the office contained.

Sasuke took the other chair. "What did you want to talk to us about?"

Neji winced inwardly. The junior officer was making a bad mistake - all of the older officers knew not to talk to their chief out of turn. He was notorious for his demand for respect and harsh punishments. But to the pale-eyed man's surprise, Orochimaru did not react to Sasuke's impudence.

"I want you to tell me about the thieves - what they looked like, their methods; anything important you can remember. They might be part of a gang we've been monitoring for a while."

"They were covered in black, so we couldn't observe much about their features. Both thieves seemed to be male, however, and they looked rather young - early twenties, I'd suppose. They seemed to be experienced robbers, I believe the only reason they failed was because they had a bad plan." supplied Neji.

Sasuke quickly glanced over at his companion, surprised at his excellent powers of observation. The black-haired boy had noticed much of what Neji said, but he had not realized the thieves were experienced or that their plan was the only thing wrong with the robbery.

Orochimaru nodded, licking his lips with a frightfully long tongue. "Thank you, officer Hyuuga. They don't seem to be-"

His sentence was disrupted by a commotion from the outer room. Sasuke heard "Those damn bastards!" and "You let them get away?!" before Lieutenants Zabuza and Haku arrived at the door.

"Come in." said Orochimaru, looking displeased. "And please tell me what this commotion is all about."

Haku gulped nervously and stepped inside. "Commander… the thieves escaped." he stated, clearly worried about what punishment the sadistic Orochimaru would bring down upon him this time.

"How?" asked Orochimaru, glaring angrily.

"Eh… well…"

"Get on with it, Lieutenant."

"Officer Sabaku **(1)** and I were in charge of searching the twenty-ninth floor. We found two men in a room… ah… sharing an intimate moment, and, as they gave us their names and department numbers, escorted them out of the building. Later, after the two men left, Sergeant Shiranui discovered that they gave us false names and positions. Also, Sergeant Yuuhi found out that their patterns did not show up on the videotapes - they'd been wiped from the camera's memory systems."

Orochimaru frowned, clearly deeply displeased. "This was completely in violation of police policy. You are to detain suspects until they can be interrogated and cleared, and their background information verified. If you had followed the regulations, the thieves would be safely behind bars."

Haku bowed his head in apology. "As ranking officer, I made the decisions. I take complete responsibility for this folly."

Orochimaru smirked. "Meaning you wish to take the punishment yourself, I suppose."

The long-haired lieutenant said nothing, just bowed his head in acquiescence.

"All right then." The snakelike man smirked - giving out punishments was a favorite pastime of his. "Lieutenant Haku, you are hereby demoted to the lowest rank, officer, and your job is completing paperwork unless I command otherwise."

The feminine police officer's eyes widened in shock, but he managed to reply, "Yes, commander." Orochimaru had known he hated paperwork and lived to be outside, in action. He also knew how long and hard the man had worked to gain his former position… the rank his commander had discarded like snakeskin.

"You are dismissed, Officer." said the commander snidely. "Have Lieutenant Zabuza find you a desk and some work."

The larger, muscular policeman nodded curtly. He put a comforting hand on Haku's shoulder and steered him out of the room.

His bespectacled office aide, sitting at a desk adjacent to the chief's, spoke for the first time. "Orochimaru sir… Did you really have to be that harsh?"

Sasuke and Neji both looked at him, startled at his audacity and wondering what the commander would punish him with.

"Kabuto, must I remind you not to question my methods?" asked the chief, surprisingly calm.

"Of course not, master. My apologies." Kabuto bowed his head in contriteness.

Sasuke was surprised at Kabuto's deferential manner. He knew Orochimaru demanded respect, but… this was ridiculous.

"Apology accepted, Kabuto, but do not test my patience." Orochimaru finally seemed to notice the two policemen fidgeting uncomfortably in their chairs. "Officer Hyuuga, Officer Uchiha, I am going to assign you the job of capturing these thieves. I have a suspicion that they are also responsible for some of the more daring thefts committed during the past few months. Research all the robberies and look for similarities, then compile a file and have it sent to my office. Work on establishing a pattern and tracking them down."

Neji nodded solemnly, getting up to leave.

"But, Commander!" Sasuke protested, overstepping his bounds once again. "I thought you would assign me to the Itachi-murder case!" He leaned forward in his seat, pleadingly. "I need-"

Orochimaru cut him off by making a vicious slashing movement with his hand. "There will be no arguing with my orders." he said coldly. "You will work on the robbery case and that is all. Now, you will leave my sight before I am forced to punish you."

Sasuke opened his mouth to protest, then closed it. He nodded once, brusquely, and left the room.

---

In the thieves' warehouse, there was a small room located off the main basement hallway. It was usually locked and unoccupied, but today it had a surprise visitor. The man inside had pale lavender hair covered by a ski cap. He was wearing the black uniform frequented by thieves, but no mask - it seemed as though he was expected to be here.

The lavender haired man sneered as he wrenched open the cabinet drawer, inwardly laughing at his companions' stupidity. They didn't even think to lock the thing! He riffled through the files impatiently, seemingly looking for a specific one.

"Aha!" he muttered as he pulled out a tattered, dog-eared folder labeled 'Personnel.' The dossier was opened to reveal pages of information and photographs.

The lavender-haired thief took the file over to the dust-covered desk. He sorted out the papers, finally laying out eleven in a neat row.

The first page contained a photograph of a messy light-brown haired man. He had a scar stretched across half of his face that almost looked like a series of wrinkles, and was staring stonily at the camera. The caption next to the picture read '_Namiashi Raidou. Alias: Ram. Age: 38. Former pickpocket, joined guild at age twenty-six. Two hundred four attempted missions one hundred two successful. Contemplating retirement_.'

The nasty-looking man shoved this paper into an anonymous dark bag, then proceeded to look at the next page.

This had a picture of a smiling man wearing a ski cap that flattened his bangs over one eye. Next to the photograph, it read '_Kamizuki Izumo. Alias: Lizard. Age: 28. Orphan, lived on streets. Joined at the age of twenty. One hundred ninety-six attempted missions; eighty-four successful. Teamed with Horse_.'

This paper was also shoved into the briefcase.

The next page's photograph was of a smiling blonde young man with three whisker-like marks on both of his cheeks. His cerulean blue eyes had a glint of devious mischief in them. '_Uzumaki Naruto. Alias: Fox. Age: 20. Orphan from an early age, taken in by Iruka at the age of sixteen and thus joined. Ninety-five missions attempted; eighty-three successful. Teamed with Panda, Cat, Rat, and Dog_.'

The lavender haired man allowed his eyes to widen at Naruto and his team's phenomenal success rate, but was otherwise silent while he placed the page in his case.

The fourth sheet had a picture of a very feminine boy, with long brown bangs and hair pulled up into a bun. He was smiling happily at the camera, brown eyes shining with innocence. The caption read '_Name: Haku. Alias: Hare. Age: 23. Raised by foster parents, joined police at age twenty-one. Affiliated with Guild since age twenty-two. Informant_.'

Upon reading these words, the man smirked happily. He took extra care placing the information in his bag.

"Ah, here we are." he muttered, uttering words for the first time since he entered the room. He was looking at a page that had a picture of his own face. '_Name: Touji Mizuki. Alias: Dragon. Age: 33. Former gangster, joined at age twenty-seven. Thirty-four missions attempted; twelve successful_.'

Mizuki glared at the page. "Fools." he spat as he stuffed it unceremoniously into his briefcase.

The next page's photograph was of a spiky-haired man with a thin bandage crossing his face over the bridge of his nose. His dark chin tattoo stood out against his lightly tanned skin. The caption read '_Hagane Kotetsu. Alias: Horse. Age: 27. Orphan, lived on streets. Joined at age of nineteen. One hundred ninety-six attempted missions; eighty-four successful. Teamed with Lizard_.'

This was also placed in the case.

The sixth page's photograph stood out. In it, a smiling platinum blonde spoke to a large crowd. She was wearing a shirt that was brightly rainbow colored and seemed to be talking with a passion. '_Yamanaka Ino. Alias: Boar. Age: 23. Journalist and political activist, loosely affiliated with guild by the age of twenty. Informant, contact_.'

"Aha… the boss will like this one." Mizuki muttered, placing it in his bag using the same care he had taken with Haku's.

He gathered up the last four papers and shuffled through them casually. The first page contained a picture of a frowning, pony tailed boy who looked like he had just woken up. It read '_Nara Shikamaru. Alias: Rat. Age: 22. Abandoned by parents, brought to guild by Fox at age eighteen. Genius hacker with an IQ of over two hundred. Ninety-five missions attempted; eighty-three successful. Teamed with Fox, Dog, Panda, and Cat_.' The next page had a photo of a smiling, brown-eyed girl. Her dark hair was pulled up in two buns on either side of her face. The caption said '_Ama Tenten. Alias: Panda. Age: 21. Orphan and pickpocket. Joined at age seventeen. Ninety-five missions attempted; eighty-three successful. Teamed with Fox, Dog, Rat, and Cat_.' The third page showed a smiling purple-haired girl with grey eyes. She looked devilishly pleased. '_Mitarashi Anko. Alias: Cat. Age: 22. Orphan, former gang member. Joined at age nineteen. Ninety-five missions attempted; eighty-three successful. Teamed with Fox, Dog, Rat, and Panda_.' read the caption. The final page had a picture of a smiling brunette. He was marked with two upside-down red triangles on either of his face, and his eyes were bright green. The sheet read '_Inuzuka Kiba. Alias: Dog. Age: 20. Orphan from an early age, taken in by Iruka at the age of sixteen and thus joined. Ninety-five missions attempted; eighty-three successful. Teamed with Panda, Cat, Rat, and Fox_.'

All five of these pages were put into the briefcase. The rest of the papers the folder contained were stacked together neatly and replaced. The thief then put the file back into the cabinet, and left silently.

---

The first member of the gang to arrive was a dark haired man with a bandage crossing his face over his nose. He was wearing black slacks and a button-down white shirt, clearly his work clothes.

"Hey, Iruka." the dark-haired man said as he slumped into a seat.

The pony tailed man looked up from his novel, startled. "Oh, hello Kotetsu. How've you been?"

The man sighed, reclining on his chair. "Just came back from my day job. Let me tell you - being a waiter sucks."

Iruka grinned wryly. "Sorry to hear that. The meeting's going to be in about an hour; if you want you can get something from the fridge."

Kotetsu just nodded, and yawned. "Think I'll change and take a nap. Have one of your kids come wake me up when it's time."

As soon as Kotetsu left, another man arrived. He looked harried and windblown, and the ski cap that normally flattened his bangs over one eye was askew.

"Whew." he gasped. "It's really stormy outside tonight. Glad I got here before it got really bad."

"Hey Izumo," said Iruka, smiling at him.

The man paused in brushing off his tight, flared jeans to grin up at him. "Where's the rest of the gang?"

Iruka shrugged. "Anko, Naruto, Shikamaru, Tenten, and Kiba are changing and showering, Kotetsu's taking a nap, and the rest haven't arrived yet. I don't think Ino, Jiraiya, or Haku are going to show up; they rarely do, but I believe Mizuki, and Raidou are gonna be here."

Izumo straightened up, tight shirt revealing a muscled torso. "Kotetsu's napping, eh? I might just go join him."

Iruka gave him a look.

Realizing what he had just said, the man blushed. "Eheheh… I meant, maybe I'll go take a nap myself."

"Sure." replied the pony tailed brunette skeptically. His lips twitched from the effort of trying not to smile.

"Psh. I'm leaving." grumped Izumo, heading down the hall.

The next to appear was a smallish man with a very obvious facial scar, looking almost like several wrinkles. His light-brown hair was rumpled and messy, and he looked just as windblown as Izumo had. His T-shirt read 'Jimmy's Truck Repairs'. It was grease-stained and dirty, along with his hands, arms, and baggy carpenter jeans.

"Yo."

"Hi, Raidou." replied Iruka. "Meeting's in thirty minutes or so. You might want to take a shower, get changed."

"Will do." replied Raidou, already heading to his rooms. The man was taciturn by nature, not out of anger, but sometimes he could be a little short with people.

"Good morning, Iruka." The smooth voice belonged to the man who had previously been ransacking the filing cabinets in the empty room. He had changed out of his black outfit and was now wearing a tight white T-shirt and casual khaki pants. The briefcase had been deposited somewhere and he was now empty handed.

"Hello, Mizuki." replied Iruka, looking back down to his book. "Naruto and company just came back from their robbery, and the meeting starts in about ten minutes. There's food in the fridge, if you want some."

"Don't mind if I do." the lavender haired man replied nonchalantly, heading over to the battered white refrigerator. "So… is the great Jiraiya going to attend?"

Iruka laughed at his wry tone of voice. "I doubt it." the brunette replied. "I called him, but he said he was… erm… busy."

"You mean he said he was researching for his newest book and couldn't bear to tear his eyes away from the scene in front of him?"

"Eheheh… something like that." Of course Jiriaya's words had been considerably more lewd, and Iruka felt his face heating up just at the memory.

---

"For the last time, Zabuza, I'm fine." sighed the feminine boy.

"I hate that Orochimaru… thinks he can do whatever he wants… messes with the officers… ridiculous punishments…." The tall, muscular man was storming about his kitchen, eyes dark with anger.

"Zabuza, calm down." said Haku from his spot on the couch. "It doesn't matter, really-"

The bigger man cut him off. "Of course it matters, Haku! The damn son of a bitch needs to learn his place! He can't go around doing stuff like this! He-" Zabuza was almost shouting with his righteous anger.

The brunette massaged his temples, feeling a migraine coming on. He did his best to ignore his indignant companion's ranting, but the man was getting so loud it was hard to disregard his shouting. "Jyah!" he finally shouted in frustration. "Calm down! I'm fine, you're fine, we're all fine, nobody's hurt, it's no big deal… just shut up!"

Zabuza stared in shock. This was one of the first times Haku had shouted at him.

"Thank you." said the brunette sarcastically, flopping back down on the couch. "Just… go get me an aspirin or something." he sighed.

The bigger man nodded, still in shock from his companion's outburst.

---

"Everyone here?" asked Iruka looking around at the gathered thieves. "All right. This meeting of the Thieves' Guild is to discuss recent robberies, plans for improvement, and new targets. Anko - how was today's robbery?"

"Failure." she replied bluntly. The rest of her group nodded in assent.

"Why? What went wrong?" asked Izumo, leaning forward curiously.

"Everything." replied Shikamaru, his head pillowed on his arms.

"Well… we were climbing on the outside of the building from the twenty-ninth floor to the thirty-second, where they were having their party. And then some security-police guys noticed us, and called the rest of the police force." began Naruto.

"So then we rappelled down the building, but the cops were waiting for us." interjected Kiba.

Naruto elbowed him. "I'm telling the story. Anyway, we noticed them and jumped in through a second-storey window. Then we changed into our disguises - the suits - and took the elevator all the way back up to the twenty-ninth story. And then we broke into one of the offices and-"

Anko suddenly burst out giggling. "Hahaha… And then when the cops came, they… hehehe… heh…"

Kiba began blushing furiously, absolutely mortified, while Naruto just looked down at the tabletop, trying not to laugh.

"What did they do?" asked Mizuki curiously.

"They… they… ahahahaha…"

"You guys are troublesome." muttered Shikamaru.

"Jeez, Anko, tell us already!" complained Kotetsu.

"They pretended to have a full-blown makeout session so the cops would leave them alone!" she yelled, pointing dramatically at the two mortified thieves.

Iruka, Mizuki, Kotetsu, and Izumo stared, then burst out laughing. Raidou just shook his head and rolled his eyes, and Shikamaru muttered something about being troublesome. Tenten began giggling along with Anko, and soon nearly everyone in the room was laughing at Kiba and Naruto.

"I will never go along with one of your plans ever again!" hissed Kiba.

---

"Everything goes according to plan, yes?" asked a voice from the shadows. A dark figure was silhouetted against the dimness, red eyes glowing eerily.

"Of course." replied Orochimaru, looking slightly nervous.

"And my little brother… how is he?"

"I have assigned him to the robbery cases. He insists he is ready for the Uchiha murder case" -at this the dark figure laughed a little- "but I told him he needed to prepare more. Sasuke is well enough though, and is quickly rising through the ranks."

The shadowed figure seemed to nod. "You have to deal with him, no?"

The pale police chief nodded once in silent agreement.

"_O-kinodoku ni omoimasu_." **(2)** muttered the figure, bowing slightly. "I will leave the plan in your hands." he told the commander.

Orochimaru knew the unspoken words behind that innocent-seeming statement. 'I will leave the plan in your hands, and if anything goes wrong, it is on your head.' He looked up to reply to the figure, but the man was gone.

* * *

**Footnotes:  
****(1)** I know Sabaku isn't Temari's last name, but it's the best I can do. What should Gaara and Kankuro do in this story? Suggestions, please.  
**(2)** O-kindoku ni omoimasu means 'I pity you' in Japanese. I found it in my handy-dandy Japanese phrasebook and couldn't resist having -the mysterious figure who is yet unnamed although it is totally obvious who he is- say it.

* * *

Wow. This chapter was a bitch to write. I tried to get it up by Friday, but I was to busy and the inspiration just wouldn't flow, ya know? Sorry about the weird chapter title... heheh... I was kind of in a rush. This chapter doesn't have much action to it, for which I apologize, but it does have some important character introductions and it let me develop their personalities a bit. I hope this makes sense out of the last chapter... heheh... sorry for the whole confusing codenames thing. 

You've made it this far - it can't hurt to click the review button!


	3. We're Here! We're Queer! Get Used to It!

**The Greatest Heist**

**Disclaimer**: Naruto isn't mine. Believe it! …And I don't own any other brand names or organizations alluded to in the course of this story. Believe it!

WARNING: If you hadn't realized already from the summary and previous chapters, this story will contain mild shounen ai and shojo ai. In fact, there's a bit of shojo ai in this chapter, although its nothing graphic.

A/N: I am _extremely_ apologetic for the late update. I've been really busy, what with science fair (which is over, thank God), music rehearsals (which are _not_ over), and school in general. I actually meant to have this chapter finished two weeks ago, but life caught up with me and I caught a case of writers block. -bows- Gomen. I also apologize for the lack of action (of any sort) in this chapter. I'm still establishing the back story, but I promise chapter four will have all sorts of exciting chase scenes! Anyway, **Read and Review**!

Thanks to **Mrs. Usui **for making me realize how stupid I was by calling the thieves after animals from the Chinese zodiac. Also, thanks to **fourthiv** for giving me inspiration (albeit indirectly) for Gaara's outfit. I love you both!

* * *

**Chapter Three:  
**_We're Queer! We're Here! Get Used to It!_

The inner sanctum of Konoha City's police station was as dark and quiet as a tomb. Most officers were either at home or on duty, with only two left to hold down the fort. That pair was up front in the lobby, idly watching television and playing cards. The only other officers in the building were locked up in their offices, either organizing their files or preparing case reports.

Both Sasuke and Neji had opted to stay on after their shifts to review various unsolved robbery cases in and around Konoha City, trying to find which ones could have possibly been caused by their mystery gang. So far, their search had only encompassed a third of the robbery files.

"Damn him." muttered Uchiha Sasuke vehemently. "_Damn_ him." His normally gelled and styled hair looked unkempt, and there were dark circles under his eyes, evidence of many late nights of working and sorting paperwork. In front of the officer was a slim computer, the pallid light from its surface reflecting in the pale man's ivory skin. He typed a few commands on the keyboard angrily, then picked up one of the large dossiers lying to his right. "Suna District." he muttered, entering the information into his computer. "June 12, 2004. A shipment of various precious metals from the mining camps. Worth approximately six hundred, twenty-five thousand dollars." He whistled softly, taking the paper and placing it on top of a rapidly growing stack of cases he had already investigated.

Sasuke leaned back on his swivel chair, running a weary hand through his hair and massaging his temples. He began to think aloud. "Many unsolved robbery cases are unrelated and happen in random places. They are also seemingly unplanned and spontaneous, such as various convenience-store holdups. But there is another group of thieveries that seem well planned and thought out. They also involve greater sums of money and more valuable items. In this category of planned robberies, there seems to be at least two groups at work. One steals mostly mediocre treasures, such as second-rate artworks or small, virtually unguarded jewel shipments. They cover their tracks well, and the cases involving them are usually dropped quickly. The other goes for high-value items, often those that are hyped up by the media and involved with celebrities. This would seem to be the gang we are looking for."

Neji looked up from where he had been bent over trying to decipher cramped script on a preliminary case report. "None of them have been caught so far." he informed Sasuke. "This gang is, I assume, relatively new or very, very good, as we haven't even come close to catching them before."

Sasuke nodded, pinching the bridge of his nose. "And Orochimaru wants us to sort through this mountain of data looking for information on a gang we've only encountered once, expecting us to find their secret hideout, mount a raid, and capture them all in one fell swoop."

His partner laughed wryly. "Anything's possible." he commented.

"And that theory seems exactly what Orochimaru is trying to test." replied Sasuke, closing his eyes. "I can't do this anymore, Nej. Let's go."

His partner nodded. "Great idea. It's already-" he checked his watch "-one 'o' clock in the morning, and I'm exhausted."

The two stood up stiffly, grabbed their belongings and stuffed them into briefcases, then left the room.

---

"This is _delicious_!" exclaimed Naruto, muffin crumbs spraying out of his mouth to land on the table and his companions.

"Ack!" Kiba shoved his chair back quickly, nearly falling off in the process. "Say it, don't _spray_ it!" Akamaru, zipped up safely in his tan jacket, yipped in agreement.

The blonde finished chewing his large mouthful and swallowed quickly. "Sorry." he said contritely, shoving even more of his giant poppy seed muffin into his mouth.

"Geez, Naruto." commented Anko, sitting back and clomping her booted feet on the table. "If you're gonna be a pig, you're gonna pay next time." She slurped her brightly colored smoothly loudly.

"Like you're any better." muttered Shikamaru, his head pillowed on the table, Danish lying forgotten in front of him. He scooted away from the trench-coated woman's combat boots.

"Shika, I think you're starting to drool." Anko retorted, sticking her tongue out at him.

The genius' only reply was to close his eyes and go back to sleep.

"Hey guys, I'm back!" called Tenten, exiting the café with two steaming cups. She was wearing her customary Chinese-style pink blouse coupled with pale green slacks, and her hair was done up in identical brunette buns. The woman walked over to their patio table and set one in front of Shikamaru, keeping the other for herself. "Here ya go, Shika."

The pony tailed man muttered something that sounded like 'thanks' and sat up slowly. His black collared shirt was unbuttoned to reveal a tight mesh shirt which outlined his tight muscles as he lethargically sipped his drink.

Naruto watched him interestedly for a few minutes, then shook his head and looked up. "I'm bored."

"_I'm_ not." replied Kiba happily, flashing his trademark grin at a group of giggling girls.

Anko smacked him upside the head, nearly causing him to fall face-first into his chocolate éclair. "You disgust me."

"Hey!" complained Kiba, sitting back up and checking to make sure Akamaru was unhurt. "What was that for?"

"Not so cool now, are you?" asked Naruto smugly. It was his turn to ogle the laughing group.

Anko shoved him so hard that he almost fell of his chair.

"Yah!" the blonde yelled in fright, grabbing at anything that would keep him steady. He finally regained his balance and pouted. "That was totally uncalled for!"

Anko grinned at him and returned to her croissant.

Shikamaru chuckled slightly. "You guys are troublesome." he stated, still smiling.

Tenten was too busy giggling to say a word.

---

The café was warm and cheery, filled with businesspeople getting a quick coffee and a bite to eat before heading off to their jobs. Neji sat with Sasuke at a small corner table, a ritual that had begun when the pale-eyed man had first been partnered with the rookie. He sipped his light-colored latte pensively, observing the other guests with their suits and hurried demeanors.

"Shift starts at two." muttered Sasuke, slowly tearing apart his croissant.

His companion nodded, taking a bite of his cheese Danish.

"Have you gotten any ideas about the robberies?"

Neji shook his head. "None. I know we're close to finding a pattern, but… none of the carefully planned robberies are alike, and the unplanned ones aren't what we're looking for."

Sasuke nodded, getting up from his seat and walking around to Neji's side of the table. He extracted a black laptop from his briefcase and opened it in front of the brunette.

The pale-eyed man found himself staring at a map of Konoha's inner city, the district where most of the robberies had occurred. The unsolved, planned thefts were marked in green, while the uncompleted burglaries were in blue.

"What do you notice about this map?" asked Sasuke, leaning over Neji to look at the screen.

"Most of these robberies seem to focus on the warehouse and shipping district and the financial center." replied Neji, willing his mind to make sense of the multitude of dots covering the map.

His partner shut the laptop with a decisive click and withdrew to his side of the table. "Exactly. So I assume that the thieves are based in the warehouse district."

"Why the warehouse district?" Neji asked, although he already thought he knew.

"Big empty buildings, infrequent police patrolling, valuable shipments…"

Neji nodded. "So… how're you going to use this?"

Sasuke pursed his lips. "I'm not sure yet, but at least we have an idea of where they are. I think it's time to visit our informants."

His companion nodded. "Who are you going to see?"

"Gaara."

"Who?" Neji was confused - the name sounded familiar, but he couldn't place it.

Sasuke smirked. "Just look him up in the IT files **(1)**. You'll find out who he is soon enough. Who're you visiting?"

"Hinata and her journalist girlfriend whatshername."

"The psycho one?"

Neji nodded and smiled slightly. "Well, she's a high-ranking crime reporter. I'd assume she knows _something_."

Sasuke snorted. "She's more of a psycho gay rights activist than anything. Good luck with that."

Neji got up from the table and threw the remains of his latte into the trash. "You too. I had better get going; you made me curious - I want to look up Gaara in our files."

"Heh. See you at two." replied Sasuke, tossing back the rest of his espresso with one gulp.

The partners exited to their separate cars and drove off quietly.

---

Haku yawned as he plodded into the police station, flanked by Zabuza.

A man looked up as they entered. He had gravity-defying white hair that flopped up and to the side, and was wearing a scarf that disguised most of his lower face. "Rough night, Haku?" he asked, winking.

"Yeah, Kakashi, I… Hey!" Haku looked indignant as he figured out Kakashi's innuendo. "Pervert!"

Zabuza chuckled. "Just a little bit. We only-"

His companion interrupted him, blushing. "I do _not_ appreciate you talking about _our_ sex life to random perverts!" he declared angrily.

Kakashi looked insulted. "I'm not just a random pervert!" he cried, holding a hand over his heart. "You _wound_ me, my dear Haku! I am a _super_ pervert!"

The feminine officer grinned, laughing. "That's not much better, Lieutenant."

Zabuza rolled his eyes, grasping Haku's shoulder and steering him away from the white-haired policeman. "Let's leave the 'super pervert' to his naughty imagination."

His companion smirked and winked lewdly at Kakashi, then left to find his new workspace.

Zabuza smiled at his shorter companion, watching Haku's long brown locks sway against his back as he moved. The happiness left his face almost immediately when they reached the small desk that was now Haku's workspace. It was piled high with messy stacks of papers for him to look over and complete.

"Matching fingerprints… writing up case files… sorting intelligence… Haku, this is going to take you at least a week!" Zabuza could feel his anger growing at Orochimaru and his sadistic punishments.

Haku's lips tightened into a slight grimace. "Well… I'll just have to get it over with." he said tersely, pulling out his chair and flopping into it. His eyes narrowed as he grabbed a random file and opened it, spilling out the papers across the desk.

The taller man could see Haku's knuckles turning white as he clenched his fists tightly. The brunette's face was pale, and he seemed to be barely holding his anger in check. His frustration and helplessness made Zabuza want to go and punch the living daylights out of their heartless commander. He barely mastered the impulse, and said instead, "Hey, Haku?"

"…Yes?" the feminine police officer managed to choke out through gritted teeth.

"If you need any help, just call me, 'kay?"

His companion gave him a tight, mirthless grin. "I'll be finished by tonight."

Zabuza stared.

"I'm not a genius for nothing."

---

The Suna district of Konoha City was largely unpopulated. It was one of the poorest and most crime-ridden areas, home to at least three known gangs and probably more the police had not encountered yet.

Sasuke strode down the deserted streets, alert for any sign of life. He was off-duty, wearing his customary black shirt, slacks, and long trench coat. The wind blew dust and scraps of paper over his boots as he hurried towards one of the few occupied buildings in the area. It was a multi-storied apartment complex, dingy but lived in. Outside the door stood a stone-faced red-head, watching the world through a pair of slitted eyes.

He was shirtless under his black leather jacket, a row of sheathed knives strapped diagonally across his chest. His dark pants were tight and tucked into a pair of medieval style boots. Eyeliner was smeared thickly around his eyes, and there was a metal-studded leather band around his throat, presumably to protect it.

"Gaara." acknowledged Sasuke with a nod.

The teenager turned his chilly aquamarine gaze onto the man, but stayed silent. He blinked his strange eyes once, to show he was listening.

"I have some questions for you." continued Sasuke.

The boy shifted slightly, red locks falling away to reveal the Japanese kanji for 'love' tattooed onto his forehead. "Ask away." he commanded in a deep voice. "I don't have to answer you."

Sasuke, used to Gaara's taciturn nature, went ahead with his questioning. "Did your gang have anything to do with the mining shipment robbery two years ago?"

The teenager watched him silently before asking, "Which one?"

"Various precious and semi-precious metals, already refined, with a value of approximately six hundred, twenty-five thousand dollars."

The red-head blinked owlishly at him, then shook his head.

"Do you know who did it?"

"Not us. New guys."

The dark-haired man nodded slowly, thinking. "How about the Andy Warhol painting in 2005?" **(2)**

"Don't do paintings."

"Was it stolen by the same people?"

The boy shrugged, expression unchanging. "Don't care." he replied.

Sasuke barely refrained from rolling his eyes. "And yesterday?"

"What about yesterday?"

"The attempted robbery at the Gaskill Industries- don't tell me you haven't heard about it."

"I have…"

"Well? Did the same people do it?" pressed Sasuke, becoming impatient.

"The same people as what?"

"The same people that stole the metals, and possibly took that painting!"

Gaara did not reply. "I need to get going." he said instead, turning to leave.

"Why can't you tell me anything?" asked Sasuke, frustrated at the lack of help.

"We're on opposite sides, remember?" With that, Gaara turned and walked back into the building, locking the door behind him.

Sasuke sighed. "Right…" he muttered, walking away.

---

_'Sabaku Gaara. Age: 18. Accomplished knife fighter, became leader of the infamous Kazekage gang at the age of sixteen. Suspected in the _Trent, Yashamaru, Sinclair, Kessinger, _and_ Danielson _murders, however was not prosecuted due to lack of evidence. Certifiably insane with multiple personality tendencies and is thought to be bipolar._'

Neji put the paper down slowly, whistling in awe. "Sabaku Gaara, eh?" he muttered. "Where does Sasuke get such crazy informants?" The guy's record was impressive - only eighteen, but suspected in at least four murder cases. Add that to the fact that he was the leader of one of the city's largest gangs, certifiably insane, and had never spent even a day in jail… That Gaara was one hell of a guy.

As he looked up, he saw a spiky-haired blonde woman approaching. "Good morning, Officer Hyuuga." she greeted, smiling politely.

"Hello, Officer Sabaku." Upon saying her name, it hit him. He looked down to the paper he was holding - '_Sabaku Gaara_' - and back up to Temari. "Are you related to Sabaku Gaara?" he asked curiously.

Temari paled slightly. "…He's my brother." she replied hesitantly. "Has he gotten arrested?"

Neji shook his head. "No, I just found his name in the IT files. Just curious."

The blonde nodded, biting her lip. "He… I don't really have anything to do with him anymore." she said.

"It's fine, Temari. I was just wondering."

The officer nodded and hurried away. After a moment, Neji emulated her, walking quickly towards his car. He still had a lot to get done.

---

The bright sun beat down on the lush green grass of the park. Shikamaru was lying on his back, sleeping, while Naruto and Kiba busied themselves by tossing an orange Frisbee back and forth, playing keep away with Akamaru. Anko was reclined comfortably in the wide, shady branches of a tree, kicking her legs back and forth. Tenten sat under the same tree, leaning her back against the wide shaggy trunk. The two watched the boys silently for a while, grateful for the cool shade.

Finally, Tenten spoke. "Hey, Anko?" she called up to the woman, looking up to see her combat boots dangling down through the foliage.

"Mm-hm?" came the lazy reply.

"Um… where did you guys come from, anyway?"

"Well…" Anko began mischievously. Tenten could imagine the devilish grin on her face. "When a mommy and a daddy love each other _very_ much-"

Tenten cut her off with a snort. "That wasn't what I was asking, and you know it. I wanted to know- Yipe!" Anko had launched herself from the branch and landed in a crouch at the brunette's feet. Tenten clutched at her rapidly beating heart, breathing hard. "Don't ever, ever do that again." she said shakily.

Anko smirked impishly. "Haha! Scared you!" she declared, laughing.

The brunette huffed.

Settling herself comfortably against the tree trunk, Anko ended up sprawled next to Tenten. "You wanted to ask something?"

Her friend nodded. "Sorry if it's uncomfortable, I was just wondering - what are you all's stories? Like, what happened to make you join this?"

The purple-haired woman smiled brightly, although there was a shadow of pain left in her eyes. "No problem." she said easily. "Who do you want to start with?"

Tenten thought for a moment. "…Shika, I guess. What happened to him?"

"Heh. You picked the most interesting one, that's for sure. Unlike us, Shika had a pretty normal childhood - two parents, a sister and a brother, a dog and a cat, a nice house, money; all that good stuff. His parents were always encouraging him to try in everything he did, and, being a good little kid, he didn't want to let them down. So he did his best. He graduated high school at age fourteen and was the valedictorian of his class. But after he got into Notre Dame, his parents' pressuring got even worse. Finally he got fed up with school and dropped out. He thought his parents would support him, but…" Anko bit her lip.

"They kicked him out?"

"Right. So Shika used his hacking skills to get some money and lived on the streets. He hired himself out to various people that needed an a computer whiz, and… that's how we found him."

"Wow… that's pretty messed up."

Anko snorted. "No kidding." she said dryly. "Who's next?"

Tenten gazed at the two boys, now wrestling each other for control of the toy. She hesitated slightly, not sure which one she should ask about.

The purple-haired woman gave a lopsided grin. "I guess it doesn't matter who you choose. Their stories are basically the same. Kiba's dad was an abusive drunk, his mom was always hopped up on drugs. Finally, they just kicked him out. Naruto's parents both died in the turf wars between the Akatsuki and the Kyuubis - Yondaime, his dad, was leader of that gang; it died out a couple years later. He lived on the streets after that; the police didn't care enough to take him in. Somehow, they both got together and lived by stealing. Trust me - you don't want either of them near your wallet… and locked doors don't stop them either." She paused for a reminiscent laugh. "Anyway, they were trying to rob this guy's house, and they were caught. But instead of turning them into the police, the guy adopted them. That was Mom."

"Iruka-sensei?" asked Tenten, smiling. That sounded exactly like something the kind man would do.

"So anyway, we contacted them because of their infamous stealing skills. And when they joined us, Iruka joined too."

"Does he have a story?"

"Everyone does." replied Anko. She halted Tenten's retort with a wave of her hand. "He was a university student who couldn't get a good job. What he really wanted to do was teach, but the salary wasn't enough and there were no teaching positions available. So he joined us, and now he's Mom."

The brunette closed her eyes for a moment, wondering her companions' pasts. "And yet, they're almost normal."

At this Anko laughed happily. "Good one, Ten."

After Anko explained about her friends' pasts, there was a comfortable silence as they both reflected on their past experiences. Finally, Tenten piped up again. "What about you?" she asked hesitantly.

Her friend gave a short laugh that sounded slightly like a sigh. "Long story." she said dryly, slumping lower until she was lying on the ground.

The brunette looked down at the grass, plucking a few strands and rolling them between her fingers pensively. "Care to tell me?"

The purple haired woman pursed her lips, indecision wavering in her eyes. "I guess so." she said quietly. "I can't tell you about all of my friends without talking about myself." She paused for a moment before beginning. "I was a member of Yondaime's gang, the Kyuubis for as long as I could remember. My parents died the same time as Naruto's mom and dad, fighting the Akatsuki. I stayed with the Kyuubis for a while longer, until they fell apart. When that happened, about eight or so years ago, I was lost without anyone to turn to. Then Orochimaru took me in."

She spat out the last sentence bitterly, causing Tenten to look up curiously. "Isn't Orochimaru commander of the police department?"

Her companion nodded slightly, expression growing bitter. "He fed me and clothed me, which I felt indebted to him for. So when he treated me like a possession, like a _toy_, I felt that I was only giving him his due. I was only fourteen, after all."

"_What_?" Tenten was horrified at this revelation. "You mean-"

"Heh. Exactly. He raped me, _abused _me, and I took it passively. _Exactly _like I was supposed to. I lived with him for three years until Kankuro, one of my friends from school, saw the bruises. He wouldn't stop bugging me about them, so finally I caved and told him about Orochimaru. He was disgusted - just like you are now, I suppose." Anko noted, smirking at Tenten's wide-eyed look of revulsion. "Anyway, he brought me to his brother, Gaara, who was leader of the Kazekage gang in the Suna district. He agreed to get me away from that snaky bastard if I joined the Kazekages - they needed a strategist-hacker person. So they saved me and gave me a place to live. I left them two years ago, not because of any hard feelings, but because they had found a better hacker and I had found a better gang - this one." Anko smiled brightly, not quite disguising the pain in her eyes.

Tenten couldn't speak, she was so disturbed by Anko's revelations.

"So, now what? Are you going to leave because you can't bear sitting next to someone as _defiled_ as me?" Anko spat, glaring at Tenten confrontationally.

"No." the brunette replied firmly. "It's disgusting what that bastard did to you, but I'm not going to leave. It's _not your fault_. Got it?"

Anko let out her breath in a small 'huff.' "Sorry, Ten." she said.

The two sat in in a awkward silence until Tenten spoke again. "Anko… are you bipolar?"

The shorter woman burst out laughing. "Gee, thanks." When her laughing fit had subsided, she leaned back against the tree trunk again, wearing a small smile.

---

Neji sat awkwardly in the waiting room, trying to find something to occupy himself. The thirty storey view had been interesting for the first five minutes, but now he was just bored. It had been at least fifteen minutes since the secretary had paged his informant, and she still had not arrived. He was about to get up himself and fetch her, when a panting woman burst through the doors.

Her long, blue-black hair was braided so that it hung down behind her back, and her strangely pale eyes were accented by a thin layer of eyeliner. "I'm sorry…" she panted, smoothing down her skirts. "I didn't mean to keep you waiting, but we had just received a call from the commander-in-chief of the- Oh! Neji!"

"Good morning, Cousin Hinata." replied Neji. This woman was a far cry from the timid, insecure girl he used to be like a big brother to. She had matured in both body and mind, gaining new self confidence and filling out her slim curves.

"Sorry about the wait." she said, laughing slightly. "It's just that Ino got a call from one of the higher-ups in the army, and she made me stay to see what he wanted. Come on back, I'm sure she'll be happy to see you."

Neji followed her down a bland corridor to a pale walnut door. He watched amusedly as she knocked, calling "Ino! Neji's here!"

"Come on in!" came the reply from inside.

The door was opened to reveal an office hung with all types of framed photographs and activist posters, the most prominent one solid black, proclaiming in rainbow-striped block lettering "_We're here! We're queer! Get used to it!_" **(3)**

A platinum blonde woman was lounging behind a large mahogany desk. Above her head was a large rainbow flag, bearing the slogan "National Gay and Lesbian Task Force." **(4)** In contrast to the bright rainbow colors of her decorations, she was dressed demurely in a professional black skirt and pale purple collared shirt. "Good morning, Neji." she greeted him. "You're Hinata's cousin, right? What brings you here?"

The police officer stepped hesitantly into the room, a little intimidated by both the blatant signs and the blonde's domineering manner. "Good morning, Miss Yamanaka." he said courteously.

"Ino." she replied firmly, gesturing for him to sit. "What do you want to ask me about?"

Neji took his place gingerly in an uncomfortable looking hard plastic chair, while Hinata resumed her usual place at a smaller desk placed off to the side. "Right. I was wondering if you knew anything about a gang responsible for a recent robbery spree, culminating with the attempted heist at Gaskill Industries."

The tall, teal-eyed woman tapped her chin thoughtfully with a pencil, pursing her lips. "Tell me more. I heard about the attempted Gaskill robbery, but I don't know how it could be related to other cases. Do you know any other robberies attempted by this 'gang'?"

The pale-eyed man nodded. "We suspect them in the robbery of that Andy Warhol painting in 2004."

"The one that was on tour?"

Neji nodded. "Also, that safecracking in the Oto Hotel when the billionaire was staying."

Ino nodded, looking even more serious than usual. "I can't really see how those could be related to any other cases I've been studying." she said slowly. "I'm sorry."

The man nodded, trying to hide his disappointment. "If you're sure." he replied reluctantly, turning to leave. Thanks anyway, Ino."

"No problem." the blonde replied, looking distracted.

"Good-bye, Neji." called Hinata. "Good luck on your case!"

The policeman nodded and hurried out of the office.

As soon as he had left the building, Ino turned to Hinata urgently. "Lock the office doors, love. We've got to warn Fox."

---

When the gang finally returned to their warehouse, it was almost two 'o'clock in the afternoon. Iruka was already there, waiting nervously for them at the entryway. "There you are!" he cried when the five trooped inside. "You guys have visitors! They've been waiting forever!"

"Calm down, Mom." Naruto snickered at Iruka's typical 'mother hen' attitude. "Let's go see what they want."

When they reached the main room, the thieves found Kotetsu, Izumo, Ino, and Hinata conversing animatedly. Gaara was sitting off to the side, looking distinctly uncomfortable in such a social situation.

"Hey, Hinata!" called Naruto, waving to her.

"Hello, Naruto." the dark haired woman replied. "Hi guys." She waved to the four friends standing behind the exuberant blonde.

"Gaara!" Naruto cried, running over to him excitedly. "Why are you here? You _never _come and visit me!"

"Police." grunted the redhead.

"What?"

"A policeman asked me about you guys. He's really on your trail." the taciturn boy elaborated.

"Who is it?" asked Anko, bristling as she always did when the police were mentioned.

"Uchiha Sasuke." replied Gaara, feeling a slight twinge of guilt at betraying his former friend so easily. The prickle of conscience, however, was quickly squashed. "He's an officer working under Orochimaru - he's only been on your case since that Gaskill Industries robbery, and he's already almost managed to set up a pattern for you and pin some of those unexplained cases on you guys."

Tenten paled visibly. "Are you sure?"

Gaara looked at her as though she had asked the most obvious question on Earth. "Of course." he answered simply.

"That's what we're here for too." piped up Ino, looking up sharply. "A different policeman came to us; I think he's the Uchiha's partner. He asked me if I knew any cases related to the Gaskill break-in, the Warhol painting, and the Oto safe-break. Those are all thefts attempted by you guys. I'd say they've got the pattern pretty down pat."

Shikamaru frowned. "We'll have to lay low a few days, guys." he stated.

"Why don't you guys just take a break?" Izumo asked, breaking into their conversation. "It's not like we need the money anymore."

"It's the challenge, though." replied Anko, her eyes shining. "When you get away with the perfect robbery…" she trailed off, grinning like a madwoman. "It's amazing."

Kiba nodded fervently. "And we're giving money to the poor, anyway. Helping out all those homeless little kids!"

Kotetsu snorted. "Those 'poor little kids' can survive a few days without a three thousand dollar donation, Kiba. I mean, your thieving was getting ridiculous - last week, if I recall correctly, you committed four successful robberies. Maybe it's time to take a few weeks off."

"You can play Robin Hood another time, guys." added Ino. "Unless you want to get caught. The kind of thievery you guys do is a felony under law, and can be punishable with _life imprisonment_. Taking a few weeks off won't kill you."

Naruto shook his head, frowning. "No way." he replied stubbornly. "It's funner when the police are after us, anyway." He turned and left the room, motioning for the others to follow him. "Guys, let's go plan the next robbery."

"Thanks for the warning, guys." said Tenten softly as she and her fellows followed the blonde. "We appreciate it."

Ino huffed angrily. "You're just digging your own grave, you know!" she yelled after the retreating five before getting up angrily and striding out, followed by Hinata. Gaara had already left.

Kotetsu glanced at Izumo, who was shaking his head slowly. "They're so screwed."

* * *

**Footnotes  
****(1) **- In this fic, IT stands for intelligence. The Konoha City police, when they refer to 'IT Files', are talking about short information sheets gathered on suspected criminals.  
**(2) **- Andy Warhol was a famous pop artist of the 1950's whose painting of a Campbell's tomato soup can has become an icon of the 'pop art' movement.  
**(3) **- A quote from Peter Tatchell, a British activist.  
**(4)** - An organization that works for homosexual rights, if you hadn't guessed.

* * *

It is now two 'o'clock in the morning. I hope you're all happy I stayed up this late to get this next chapter out to you all! Next chapter will have action - high speed chase scenes, intense rooftop battles, life-threatening revelations… I promise! 

Please review! Just press the little purple button that says 'Go' and say something about my story! Reviews make my day!


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